as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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