I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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