I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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