You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
