I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
