You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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