He is like the real live version of the state fair..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
