Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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