youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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