they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
