I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
