I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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