Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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