You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
