If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
