You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
