and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
