i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize