So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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