ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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