I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
