I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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