I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
