The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
