Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
