the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
