He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
