she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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