nut hugger
are you so shy because you have an std?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
