i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize