no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Houston, we have a blender
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
