So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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