i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
