dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
