He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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