Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
