yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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