Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
