Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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