Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
