last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
