Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
