I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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