I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize