I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Blood and glitter go together right?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
