You just made me feel so damn special
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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