I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
