Where is the hickey?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
