Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
