So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
