I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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