my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
