Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
