At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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