you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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